Thoughts of a Manic

I have been dealing with mania for about two weeks now. It could be longer, but my mind is all over the place that I thought yesterday was Tuesday. WRONG! This post has no real topic, just different ideas floating around in my head while I try to work on anything, or even when I try to hold a conversation with people. I hope that this helps anyone that is also suffering from manic episodes.

A rundown of my day:

7 AM:

Hey girl! Let’s start our day!

Do you know what you want to do today?

Let’s work on our business plan.

No, let’s read a little.

No, how about we look at our assignment for next week.

I wonder if they received my mail-in ballot.

What time is it?

Let’s workout.

You should call your mom and see how she’s doing before you start your day.

What time is it?

Why are we still laying down in bed?

What time is it?

GET UP, GIRL!

9 AM:

We should go for a walk around the neighborhood

Let’s play Animal Crossing

Our business plan is top on the list for things to do today

I wonder if Donta is busy at work.

Let’s go for that walk.

What’s the weather like?

Why am I on YouTube?

Go to the Weather App.

What is the name of that song by Drake you like?

Noon:

We still have a lot to do.

Why are we laying down?

No, don’t crash. We have stuff to do!

Ariel, you are so lazy!

We do not need sleep. We are rested!

Let’s check our emails.

What time is it?

Today is going too slow.

I need to do some research regarding my plan

I. WILL. NOT. LOSE.

I’LL SLEEP WHEN I DIE!!

7 PM:

What is he saying to me?

That debate was insane.

If I were debating, I would have wiped the floor up with both of them.

What time is it?

I think I need to do more research on this plan.

I might need to pull an all-nighter to get this assignment done.

What day is it?

What is this conversation about again?

Focus. Focus. FOCUS ARIEL!

I should get my nails done.

Focus. She’s talking to you.

Do I have enough money to last me until my next job starts?

Focus. What did she say?

Do I need more leggings?

Stop going on Facebook! You know it upsets you.

What day is it?

Focus on the conversation you are having with your friend!

She probably thinks we don’t like her because we aren’t responding.

What did she say?

Should I eat? I not sure if I am hungry.

Focus.

Midnight:

I hate that I am up by myself.

Let’s go on Twitter.

No, try to sleep.

No, let’s sit down at our desk and write.

Write what?

What time is it?

You did nothing all day.

I need to work on my next assignment.

He sleeps so peacefully. One day I will know that. NOT.

Should I eat something?

I wish I had an idea of where to go to get my plans off the ground.

Focus. Focus on the plan

I am a screwup.

No, I got this! I will make it!

There is no time to sleep. Just work!

Damn, you forgot to call again!

I think I am going to start a podcast.

NO! I’m going to keep up with blogging.

YOUTUBE FOR THE WIN!!

3:00 AM:

KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN

Is he breathing?

Good, I can hear him!

What time is it?

Play one more game!

I hate that he’s asleep.

Google…

I finally allow myself to go to sleep, but my mind is fighting me all the way.

I hope that sharing this moment with you will help you seek help if you are dealing with racing thoughts. Finding someone that you can work with to assist you in navigating through the rough patches. I know that that rush of mania can be intoxicating, but what goes up must come down.

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