Trying to Forgive

Hi Daddy,

This letter has been a long time coming, but I want to say that I forgive you. I forgive you for not knowing what I needed from you as my father. I forgive you for losing sight of me and not realizing that you were hurting me. I forgive you for unknowingly choosing my sister over me. I want to say that I will forget all this, but I’m not sure that is something I can or want to do. The pain is deep, daddy. How could you not tell that I was in pain? How could you not see the sadness that I carried? I know that it was not something you wanted to do, but it happened. I also know that you want to jump right into a relationship with me, but I want you to know I need time.

I wish I had more to say to you. But honestly, I get emotional thinking about saying more to you. I cannot get back the daddy-daughter dances or the debates meets I wanted you to see, but I hope that we can talk without me feeling like a stranger to you. I don’t know if you would ever understand the pain and hurt I felt, but I want you to realize that I will try to work on us if you are willing to put in the work.

I love you daddy.

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