Looking through His Lens

“You look nice,” “You look good.” These are a couple of phrases; my husband tells me when I wear something that blows him away. And although it is nice to hear, my anxiety will not allow me to see it. I wish that every time I see myself, I could say those phrases to myself.Continue reading “Looking through His Lens”

The Love I Want

Hun, can we talk for a moment? I know that you love me, but I want to see more. I want more adventure. I want more off the cuff. I want to be knocked off my feet. I want you to love me like you did when you first realize how much you love me.Continue reading “The Love I Want”

Release

Someone asked me what do you need to release? Here’s my list: I need to release fear I need to release anger I need to release regret I need to release shame I need to release losing friendships I need to release pain I need to release bitterness I need to release the idea ofContinue reading “Release”

Welcome Back

Hey Panic! It’s been a while since we saw each other. How have you been? What have you been doing? What made you come to see me? I thought we were over? I didn’t think I would see you again, but here you are. Causing every muscle to stiff up in my body. What canContinue reading “Welcome Back”

What If

What if I made the wrong choice about my career? What if I am not cut out for this degree?  What if I am not as smart as my mother thinks I am? What if I was the cause of my long-term friendships ending? What if I don’t know how to communicate without getting inContinue reading “What If”

The Late Text

*Phone chimes* Depression: WYD? Me: Nothing. Trying to sleep. Depression: You’re lame for that. Me: How am I lame? Depression: Aren’t you sad? Me: No. Depression: SMH. Yes you are. Me: No I am not! Stop saying that I am. Depression: You’re sad AF. Just come clean. Me: Bye. Depression: You’re worthless. Depression: No oneContinue reading “The Late Text”

What I Won’t Do

What I Won’t Do Is I will not let people talk me out of my “No” I will not put myself last because it makes other people uncomfortable I will not listen to my inner critic I will not stop reaching my goals I will not let fear keep me from being my best selfContinue reading “What I Won’t Do”

Happy Birthday Ari!

Happy Birthday Ari! We made it to year 34. I know it’s been a struggle, but we are still here. I want to thank you for holding on even though it was not an easy thing to do. I want you to know that you are stronger than you think you are. Here are someContinue reading “Happy Birthday Ari!”

Missing Hope

Depression is back to sleep on my air mattress for the next few weeks rent-free. I missed him so much. NOT. I will be 34 on May 28th, and even though I have done some great things, I still feel as if I have done nothing. Like I thought by 34, I would be aContinue reading “Missing Hope”

The Handshake

Working as a Director of a childcare center, I see many touching moments parents have with their children; but this particular moment brought my little Ari out to play. One of my school-age children’s dad visits her at the center when she is not over his house for the weekend. They talked and laughed forContinue reading “The Handshake”