Looking through His Lens

“You look nice,” “You look good.” These are a couple of phrases; my husband tells me when I wear something that blows him away. And although it is nice to hear, my anxiety will not allow me to see it. I wish that every time I see myself, I could say those phrases to myself.Continue reading “Looking through His Lens”

The Love I Want

Hun, can we talk for a moment? I know that you love me, but I want to see more. I want more adventure. I want more off the cuff. I want to be knocked off my feet. I want you to love me like you did when you first realize how much you love me.Continue reading “The Love I Want”

Happy Birthday Ari!

Happy Birthday Ari! We made it to year 34. I know it’s been a struggle, but we are still here. I want to thank you for holding on even though it was not an easy thing to do. I want you to know that you are stronger than you think you are. Here are someContinue reading “Happy Birthday Ari!”

Missing Hope

Depression is back to sleep on my air mattress for the next few weeks rent-free. I missed him so much. NOT. I will be 34 on May 28th, and even though I have done some great things, I still feel as if I have done nothing. Like I thought by 34, I would be aContinue reading “Missing Hope”

The Handshake

Working as a Director of a childcare center, I see many touching moments parents have with their children; but this particular moment brought my little Ari out to play. One of my school-age children’s dad visits her at the center when she is not over his house for the weekend. They talked and laughed forContinue reading “The Handshake”

The Happiest Ever

I’ve been feeling down for a while due to the sun setting at 4 PM, on top of just being Bipolar and anxious. I decided that I did not want to be down anymore, so I started watching my wedding video. If I had to pick a day that I felt the happiest, my weddingContinue reading “The Happiest Ever”

Forgiveness

Ari, I am sorry that I have been hard on you. I did not realize how pushing you to pass your limits would make you cry. You are smart, and doubting you were the worst thing I could do to you. You do not deserve to hear the harsh words I say to you. YouContinue reading “Forgiveness”

A Letter to a Long-Lost Friend

Hi, I know it has been a while since we have spoken. To tell you that it is hard not to reach out to you is a huge understatement. I want you to know that I am not mad at you. I want you to know that it was not your fault that we areContinue reading “A Letter to a Long-Lost Friend”