Baby Come Soon

I held a baby Friday, and my anxiety went haywire. Will I ever have a baby? Will I feel that feeling of holding my own baby? Every day I see my chances for having a baby slowly fade away. I know there will be a few of you who will say, “it will happen oneContinue reading “Baby Come Soon”

What Not to Say

There are days that I cannot stop myself from speaking badly about myself. I will dump some of the rudest things that I say to myself to erase them from my mind. Please note that I do not want anyone using these horrible statements. • Your goals are not obtainable • You are lazy •Continue reading “What Not to Say”

Looking through His Lens

“You look nice,” “You look good.” These are a couple of phrases; my husband tells me when I wear something that blows him away. And although it is nice to hear, my anxiety will not allow me to see it. I wish that every time I see myself, I could say those phrases to myself.Continue reading “Looking through His Lens”

Release

Someone asked me what do you need to release? Here’s my list: I need to release fear I need to release anger I need to release regret I need to release shame I need to release losing friendships I need to release pain I need to release bitterness I need to release the idea ofContinue reading “Release”

Welcome Back

Hey Panic! It’s been a while since we saw each other. How have you been? What have you been doing? What made you come to see me? I thought we were over? I didn’t think I would see you again, but here you are. Causing every muscle to stiff up in my body. What canContinue reading “Welcome Back”

What If

What if I made the wrong choice about my career? What if I am not cut out for this degree?  What if I am not as smart as my mother thinks I am? What if I was the cause of my long-term friendships ending? What if I don’t know how to communicate without getting inContinue reading “What If”

The Late Text

*Phone chimes* Depression: WYD? Me: Nothing. Trying to sleep. Depression: You’re lame for that. Me: How am I lame? Depression: Aren’t you sad? Me: No. Depression: SMH. Yes you are. Me: No I am not! Stop saying that I am. Depression: You’re sad AF. Just come clean. Me: Bye. Depression: You’re worthless. Depression: No oneContinue reading “The Late Text”

What I Won’t Do

What I Won’t Do Is I will not let people talk me out of my “No” I will not put myself last because it makes other people uncomfortable I will not listen to my inner critic I will not stop reaching my goals I will not let fear keep me from being my best selfContinue reading “What I Won’t Do”

Missing Hope

Depression is back to sleep on my air mattress for the next few weeks rent-free. I missed him so much. NOT. I will be 34 on May 28th, and even though I have done some great things, I still feel as if I have done nothing. Like I thought by 34, I would be aContinue reading “Missing Hope”

The Handshake

Working as a Director of a childcare center, I see many touching moments parents have with their children; but this particular moment brought my little Ari out to play. One of my school-age children’s dad visits her at the center when she is not over his house for the weekend. They talked and laughed forContinue reading “The Handshake”