Dear Mama

Mama,

I just want to thank you. Thank you for accepting the role of my mother. I know I am not the easiest to deal with, but you handle it with grace. Thank you for knowing just when to call to talk me off the bridge. Thank you for the encouraging words even when I felt that I was not worthy of them. Thank you for showing me what being a woman and a mother is. You went above and beyond to make sure my brother and I had everything we wanted or needed. You went without to make sure we had it all (sometimes we didn’t deserve it, but we had our hands out), and nothing I could say or give you can show how thankful I am for you. I thank God for a mother like you. I could never ask for anyone that would be as loving and strong as you, mama. I can only pray that I can be half the mother and woman you are. You are truly my role model and my superhero. Mama, I could never find enough words in any language to thank you enough for everything you have done and still do for me.

Mama, I will forever love you.  

The Happiest Ever

I’ve been feeling down for a while due to the sun setting at 4 PM, on top of just being Bipolar and anxious. I decided that I did not want to be down anymore, so I started watching my wedding video. If I had to pick a day that I felt the happiest, my wedding day takes the cake. I want to share a little about that day if you don’t mind.

My husband Donta and I got engaged in June of 2017 and settled on a date in August of 2018. One day while working on our seating arrangements and Donta turned to me and said, “Let’s change the date to this year,” “I don’t want the big guest list; I just want to marry you.” I was a little upset at first because I wanted a big wedding and fanfare, but on the other hand, I realized that I only want to make Donta happy, and the rest of it did not matter. So we changed our date to December 22, 2017.

Our wedding day came, and I was so excited. We decorated our living room with daisies (fake ones because we were on a budget) and candles (Also fake, look, we were setting a mood, not trying to burn the house down). It seemed so whimsical and better than any wedding venue I could dream of. I was ready to marry my best friend! As my dad walked me down the hallway to greet my groom, all I could do was smile. I started thinking about the journey Donta, and I were about to start and how I could not see this life with anybody else but him. It will be 3 years in 13 days, and I love being married to this man every second of each day.

The moral today is: Although 2020 has thrown so many shots at us, we can still find our happiest ever to get us through it. I hope that happiness comes soon for you.

Trying to Forgive

Hi Daddy,

This letter has been a long time coming, but I want to say that I forgive you. I forgive you for not knowing what I needed from you as my father. I forgive you for losing sight of me and not realizing that you were hurting me. I forgive you for unknowingly choosing my sister over me. I want to say that I will forget all this, but I’m not sure that is something I can or want to do. The pain is deep, daddy. How could you not tell that I was in pain? How could you not see the sadness that I carried? I know that it was not something you wanted to do, but it happened. I also know that you want to jump right into a relationship with me, but I want you to know I need time.

I wish I had more to say to you. But honestly, I get emotional thinking about saying more to you. I cannot get back the daddy-daughter dances or the debates meets I wanted you to see, but I hope that we can talk without me feeling like a stranger to you. I don’t know if you would ever understand the pain and hurt I felt, but I want you to realize that I will try to work on us if you are willing to put in the work.

I love you daddy.

A Letter to a Long-Lost Friend

Hi,

I know it has been a while since we have spoken. To tell you that it is hard not to reach out to you is a huge understatement. I want you to know that I am not mad at you. I want you to know that it was not your fault that we are not speaking. I just think that although we share great memories and love, we need to be a part. I don’t know how long it will be or if we will ever be how we once were. I play a role in this separation too. I know I push things more than allow things to happen when it is the right time. Forgive me for that. I mean no harm by it.

I want you to know that you are a person that I will love forever. You are very important to me, friend. There is nothing I would not do for you. I hope you still know that. You are family, and sometimes family gets distant. But the distance does not change the fact that you matter in my life. I hope when you read this that you are not bothered by this. I hope that no ill feelings are resurfaced. I want to know that this letter gave you time to reflect on great lasting memories.

I love you, friend, and no time apart will take the love I have for you away.

Love,

Ari

What About Your Friends?

What about your friends, will they stand their ground, will they let you down again? What about your friends, are they gonna be lowdown, will they ever be around, or will they turn their backs on you?

What About Your Friends? – TLC

Friendships, like any relationship, needs two people to work on keeping it going. When one person is giving their all, and the other person is just taking what is being given to them, it can make the relationship one-sided. We have all had moments playing both parts, so how should we fix it?

One thing we should do is sit down and tell your friends what you need to make the friendship work. How will your friends know what you need if you are not expressing them? The next thing is setting your boundaries. You have the right to tell your friends what you will or will not take in your friendship. No one should be in a friendship or any relationship that your deal breakers are not being taken seriously. We all deserve to be respected, so require it from your friends. Lastly, just because you have been friends for years, does not mean you have to stay in a friendship that you do not see growth in it. As the saying goes, “people come in your life for a reason or a season.” People outgrow each other, and that is okay. Do not feel bad if you have to end a friendship. Ask yourself this question; would you rather have thousands of friends with no real connection, or would you rather have one friend that you have an awesome connection with? Walking away from a friendship does not mean you are trying to fight the person or trying to be hateful; you just see yourself on different pages from that friend.

Being in a friendship can be harder to work on than being in a romantic relationship. This is the person you laugh and cry with. But understand this, you can only be in a relationship that both people are willing to grow and invest in. Make the right choice for yourself when establishing your friendships. It is about the quality of your friendships, not the quantity.

A Note for My Husband

Hey Hun,

Yes, I know that you are in the next room, but I want to write you a little love letter. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for loving me harder when I try to find ways not to love me. Thank you for being my protector, my cheerleader during all of my success, and my sounding board when I am hurting. Thank you for being slow to anger, but quick to forgive. I know that I can be a bit too much at times, but like the MVP you are, you take it all with stride. You say everything without saying a word because your actions speak for themselves. Our love has had some hard times, but our love was strong enough to make it through. I know I tell you this all the time, but I felt you were due a few kudos for all you do for me. You will never know how much you mean to me. You are the eye of my wild and crazy storm. I love you, Hun, to the moon and back.

Truly you are my Prince Charming.

Love,

Your Wife

#Foreverdavis

Until You Use Me Up

Have you ever given too much of yourself? I mean, you gave so much that it drained you mentally, emotionally, and physically? Well, welcome to the club! I used to think that the only way to show that I cared about someone was to give too much of myself. You may be wondering, if I do not give my all to a person, how will they know I care?

I have been in two major relationships before I dated and married my husband. The first one was puppy love. I met him when we were 18, and I just knew I was in love with him. Every time he would call, I would do everything in my power to answer. I was so focused on loving him; I did not notice he was taking advantage of me. One time we were sitting in his car, and he kept sighing. “What’s wrong, Babe?” I asked. “Man, I’m broke,” He said, holding his head. “I have no gas, but I wanted to see you.” I started thinking to myself that I had to help him, but I only had $40 to my name. Then I thought to myself, “But he came all this way to see you.”

“What do you need?” I said, taking his hand from his head. “I need like $20 bae.” He said, looking at me like a sad puppy. “Well, I have $20 I can give you,” I said, reaching into my bag to grab my wallet. “Naw, I cannot take money from you, baby.” He said. The look on his face, however, was saying something different. He was looking like, “Come on and show me the money.” “Here,” I said, holding out the money, “Take it, babe.” His eyes perked up, and he took the money from my hand so fast that it felt like a vacuum sucking up dust. “I’ll pay you back.” He said as he leaned over and kissed me on my cheek. Let’s just say that he still owes me $220.

My second one was emotionally draining. I thought he was the one, but every time something would come up in his life, I was the first person he would get rid of. I had to fight to keep him around. “Stop calling my phone Ariel,” He shouted. “I told you when I am ready to talk to you; I will!” “Why won’t you talk to me,” I cried. “I want to help you; I love you.” My phone beeped to let me know he ended the call. I would cry myself to sleep because I wanted him to let me in. He went as far as blocking my number and blocking me on social media. When he was ready to be bothered with me… I mean ready to be loved by me, he would unblock me and asked me to forgive him. It took me a while, but I decided to let him go. He was very upset about that.

I told these stories to make this point; if you are giving more than you are receiving, it is safe to say it is not a relationship you need. We cannot continue to fill everyone’s cup while you sit around being thirsty. Again, how do you care about someone without emptying yourself? You set parameters in your relationships. You let them know what you will and will not do. A relationship is all about give and take. If you are giving more than you are receiving, you are cheating yourself out of the love and respect that you deserve. Also, do not let anyone make you feel bad for saying no. That is your right to say no. You have to know when enough is enough. You can love someone without draining your pitcher, and if they do not like it, so be it.